You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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