i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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