Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
