his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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