bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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