I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize