u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
