I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize