Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
