it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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