Banned from zoo.
Again?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
