Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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