It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
