Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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