she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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