is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
