Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
