I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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