i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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