I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
