I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize