Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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