Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
