Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
