i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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