So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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