I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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