Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
honey bunches of taint.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
