You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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