she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize