I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize