She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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