Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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