I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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