Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
