So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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