Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
