I want to walk on stilts...naked
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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