South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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