Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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