he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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