i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Your dad touched me again.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
