The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
