you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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