Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
