i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am available for nakedness
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
