they need to just BURY HIM!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
