I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
