Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize