There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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