Betty ford says i'm here all night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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