I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize