I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
