ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
