The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
