nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
