Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
